


The Tragedy of Spodie the Robot

by dontgoawaymad



Series: Casablanca Plaza [4]
Category: Poison (US Band)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Chaos, Crack, Gen, Robots, Shopping Malls, Teamwork
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-14
Updated: 2020-11-14
Packaged: 2021-03-09 04:53:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,373
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27428983
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dontgoawaymad/pseuds/dontgoawaymad
Summary: lol i'm not deadrikki thinks of a way for poisonous novelties to drum up more business; chaos ensues
Series: Casablanca Plaza [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1930267





	The Tragedy of Spodie the Robot

bret and bobby were called to cc and rikki’s shared apartment for a team meeting of sorts. apparently something that had to do with building? they were sitting on the couch in front of rikki, who just awkwardly shuffled around. bobby was half asleep, and bret was a little skeptical, knowing that he usually hosts the meetings. cc, however, knew what rikki was up to, and eagerly waited for the meeting to start.

“thank you all for coming,” rikki finally spoke after an uncomfortably long silence. he stepped to the side to reveal a table with a black bed sheet draped over it. 

“not like we had a choice.” bret muttered.

“i’ve gathered you here today because i wanted to bring a new idea to poisonous novelties.” rikki yanked off the sheet covering the table. “i give you: the official poisonous novelties robot!” the boys stared blankly at the pile of junk. “or… what’s going to be.” on the table was a bucket of sharpies, a few ping pong balls, a string of christmas lights, a black burlap bag, some string, and three sacks of polyfil. there laid a complete mannequin not on top of, but underneath the table.

“so, we’re building a robot?” asked bobby.

“yes, but actually no.” rikki pulled out the mannequin from under the table, “i already did the technical stuff. all we need to do is dress him; it’ll be just like making a scarecrow! but we have to hurry; there isn't much time before the mall opens.” thankfully, it’s only twenty minutes away from the apartment.

“alright, y’all… let’s get to it.” bret unhappily sighed. 

“how about a little music while we work?” asked bobby as he pulled out his phone.

“whatever, sure.” bobby knew bret wasn’t in the best mood, so he tried anything to make him feel better. in fact, he wasn’t feeling like himself at all, and barely felt like talking to anyone. “why are we doing this?” asked bret as he haphazardly filled the burlap bag with some cotton stuffing, “halloween was almost two weeks ago.”

rikki cut holes into two ping pong balls, and placed a little christmas light into each. “i know, but trust me, this could really boost our sales!” he stood the robot on its feet, much to everyone’s horror. the burlap sack served as its head, his face plastered with a cold, dead expression. it may or may not be more terrifying if it started moving.

“wow, umm…” in what universe would that monstrosity attract customers?!

“he looks terrifying.” well said, bret!

“that’s only because he’s naked.” 

“put a sweater on him! everyone looks friendly in a sweater.” cc left the room to rummage in his own closet for the robot’s outfit. he ended up deciding on a pair of generic black skinny jeans, and a long reddish and green sweater. “any shoes?”

“the robot has wheels on his feet so he can move around.” explained rikki.

“maybe we can paint his feet to look like shoes?” bobby uncapped a few sharpies and started drawing.

“he should have doc martens!” suggested cc. for the record, it didn’t look like he was wearing doc martens  _ at all. _

“leave the last step to me!” rikki picked up a large plastic bowl and dabbed some super glue around it. it was going to stick to the robot’s hands so he could offer their candy to shoppers.

“are you sure that’s going to hold up?” asked bret.

“sure! it’s a stick-to-anything-and-never-let-go kind of super glue!” the boys stepped back to admire their remarkable creation.

“he’s beautiful!” cc gushed; who knew something so ugly would turn out so beautiful?

“i have to say… we’re quite the team!” bret finally lightened up. guess he was just exaggerating his bad mood?

“what should we name him?” asked rikki as he held a sharpie over a paper name tag.

“cc junior!”

“hunkatron!”

“donovan!” was rikki’s idea.

“how about spodie?” suggested bobby.

“spodie the robot it is!” he scribbled down the name, and stuck the tag onto his sweater. although it felt like it took ages, there was still just enough time to get to work. the boys rolled spodie to rikki’s car, and you wouldn’t believe the looks they were getting! there was hardly any room in the trunk, so spodie had to lay across cc’s and bobby’s laps. spodie ended up weighing a ton, just like a real robot! must be all that polyfil…

“how exactly is he supposed to work?” asked cc from the passenger’s side.

“simple; i control him from my phone, and send him to whatever store in the mall!” rikki got out of the car, leaving bret and bobby to struggle with spodie. 

“but how do you control him from a different floor?”

“that’s what the “wander” button is for. bret, can you hold open the door for me?” bret ran to the upper entrance of the mall and held open the door, with a huge smile on his face. “alright, now watch this!” rikki pressed the “forward” button on his phone, and spodie went in that direction, accompanied by a faint whirring sound. he stayed behind, as if he was watching his baby take their first steps.

“that’s so rad!!” he didn’t go very fast, but they all thought it was the coolest thing ever. aside from a minor hiccup, spodie made it into poisonous novelties safe and sound! rikki placed some sweets they made the day before into spodie’s bowl. “where should we send him first?”

“thunderbolt!” laughed cc, “imagine the look on mr. simmons’ face!!”

“and… there he goes!” with a push of a button, spodie slowly, but surely, made his way over to the coffeehouse.

“bon voyage!” bobby waved.

“safe travels!”

“make us proud, spodie!” they started to go on with their opening routine, as per usual. scrubbing the floors, prepping sweets, and reorganizing the shelves: stuff like that. it took bret a hot minute to realize...

“wait… isn’t thunderbolt  _ downstairs?”  _

“duh, it’s one of the first stores you see in…” bobby’s eyes widened to the size of paper plates, “ _ oh shit!!”  _ before they knew it, all of the boys were frantically chasing after rikki down the hall.

“there he is!!” cc pointed at spodie, who was headed straight for the down escalator!

**“GET HIM!”** rikki was about to shut him off, but it was much too late.  seeing spodie tumble down the escalator was like watching your favorite character die. normally, someone would save him, but the boys were frozen in place at the top. the only thing that would make this worse would be his sweater getting caught in the mechanics. finally, the robot mannequin hybrid hit the floor with a crash that shocked half of the mall. his head popped off on impact, and candy went flying in every direction! apparently, that stick-to-anything-and-never-let-go super glue was a lie, because the bowl came off as well!  **“SPODIE!!”** rikki shrieked in horror as he ran to his creation; the rest quietly followed.

“still think we’re the a team?” asked bobby.

“not anymore.” bret answered with a heavy sigh. a flock of shoppers crowded around the scene, itching for a closer look.

“we heard this humongoid crash, is everything alright?” a young teenage girl asked.

“what in the…” an older gentleman, presumably her father, muttered.

“i made a robot and it rolled itself down the escalator.” rikki shamefully answered.

“you really thought that was a good idea?” the man asked.

“it was a _great_ idea!” how do four adult brains come up with something so impractical?

“i think i can fix him!” said rikki as he stroked the burlap sack that was once spodie’s head. “i just need to screw his head back on, get him a new bowl, and make sure he stays on one floor.”

after that scare, the rest of the day went pretty swimmingly! once rikki got him under control, spodie ended up being a hit! in fact, his bowl had to be refilled four times that day! he would spend the late morning and afternoon upstairs, and evening and night time downstairs. pretty soon, people are going to start asking for spodie, and soon or later, he’ll become a casablanca plaza celebrity!


End file.
